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| Family of 4 for a just little while longer |
This might really be happening. We might soon be farther progressed in this adoption process than we have ever been. (Like how I always cautiously phrase my sentences when referring to the adoption?) This month marks 2 years since we made the choice to adopt. Caleb was a 10 month old little baby and Bennett was just turning 3!
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| Dec. 2010 "We're adopting!" The boys ages 3 and 10 months.. Poor Caleb! |
As this process seems to be positively progressing for us finally, I realize that in a few months our lives will change forever. It will be so beautiful and wonderful when E comes home. I also try to prepare myself that some parts will not be beautiful and wonderful. They will most certainly be hard, trying, and a little chaotic. Don't get me wrong, I will be thrilled when our girl is finally able to join us. It will be nice not to simply be described as the "couple that is adopting from Congo." I know that no one means harm by that phrase, but the process can so easily consume and define a person if not careful...and not in a good way.
I guess I ramble on to say, I'm going to try my best to soak in our little family of 4 for the next few months instead of focus on how hard the wait will be to get E home. It reminds me of where Brian and I where this time exactly 5 years ago. I was 7 days shy of my due date with our oldest and we were beyond ready for him to make his arrival already! One week AND 5 days later we finally become parents for the first time. It would never be just us two anymore. We were completely in love with our son, but still had to adjust to our new family of 3. We had to figure out how to make time to be a spouse to each other while being completely sleep deprived. I even struggled with how to still be me and not just "Bennett's mom".
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| I was so proud of my baby bump |
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| Family of 3 |
Then a little over 2 years later, as we excitedly awaited the arrival of our second beautiful son, there was a tiny hint of sadness as I thought about how I would have to figure out how to divide my time and attention between 2 sons AND of course my husband too! Bennett and I were best buddies for 2 years and 3 months. We lived in another state away from all of our family members so many hours, days, and weeks while Brian was at work it was just us 2 together. I always knew I wanted a sibling for our 1st child, but still got a little teary eyed when I got close to my due date with Caleb. Those two years of bonding with my first born were so special and I knew it would never be the same once we became a family of 4.
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| Brand new family of 4 |
Fast forward to today. As I sit here simultaneously typing this post and playing Guess Who, Connect 4, puzzles and trains with my sweet Caleb while Bennett is at school I know that these moments are fleeting. Again, I hope I don't come across as sad or upset. I am just choosing to focus on this precious time as a family of 4 before we make new special memories as a family of 5. I don't want to wish this time away and in several months wonder where it went. I get emotional thinking about how God's peace has just been washing over me the past 3 months since we found out about little girl E. It doesn't make sense. We've had so many unexpected "bumps" in this journey (although it is still far from over) it makes sense that I'd be a complete basketcase at this point. (Some days are hard and I probably have been basketcase-y, but most of the time I am completely at peace!) So, I am very thankful that God truly does give peace which transcends all understanding, and guards my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:7
Wow...You're welcome for the novel. ;) I hope some of you made it this far. And I hope if you are waiting for something in your life, today you will allow God's peace to wash over you beyond your greatest understanding.
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